5 tips for reading between the lines

5 tips for reading between the lines

Posted By: Kelly Seal Date: 04-28-2016 Comments: 0

Sometimes what you don’t say is more important than what you do say, especially in the context of dating. Let me explain.

Dating is primarily based on intangibles that are subjective by nature and hard to measure–how you feel, the chemistry and body language can all be revealing. These are important considerations when deciding whether or not you are interested in seeing someone again.

For instance, if you are sitting across from your date and he’s looking around to see who else is in the restaurant, or he sits back in his chair with his hands folded across his chest, you are going to be turned off, or assume he’s not interested. He doesn’t have to say anything rude or questionable. His body language says it all. These are telltale signs that he isn’t connecting with you, and you no doubt pick up on them.

Of course, we all consider the noticeable things, too – things like educational background, career choice, and whether or not your date is tall or has brown eyes. We all have personal dating preferences that definitely play a role in our decision-making process. But if his body language says he’s not interested, or you don’t feel any chemistry yourself, chances are that “feeling” will overrule your preferences.

This is why it’s so important to read between the lines when it comes to dating. If you know how your body language is affecting your date’s perception of you or where you could be misreading him – you’ll be better off. There’s a lot of room for misunderstanding when it comes to dating. But if you are paying attention, you’ll have more success. Follow these five useful tips for reading between the lines on your next date:

Be mindful of body language. Is your date leaning towards you? Is she touching your arm, or is he scooting in closer? Or is she sitting back in her chair? Are his arms folded in front of him? When someone is more open: leaning in or touching your arm, this is a sign of interest. If they are keeping their arms folded or hands in their laps out of sight, then chances are they are holding back or not interested. Pay attention to your own body language as well so you don’t come off as disinterested when really you’re just a little nervous!

Making eye contact is key. Men need to feel that the object of their affection is interested, and usually the first step is through eye contact. If you avoid your date’s gaze, or look around when he’s talking even if it’s because you’re nervous, you’re sending a signal that you’re just not that into him. Make sure you look him in the eye when you’re having a conversation, or when you want to invite him over to talk.

Listening is an indicator of attraction. If your date is engaging and asking you questions about what you just said, if he mentions details to show he was really listening or is genuinely interested in your response, this is an indicator that he’s into you.

Beware of constant reassurances. It’s always nice to hear that your date has gotten over his ex. Or when she reassures you that she’s not judgmental or immature. However, if he keeps bringing up the ex, or making comments about how non-judgmental or mature she is, don’t believe it. If the conversation keeps coming back to the same proclamations, then there’s a big chance he’s actually masking some underlying insecurities.

Notice how someone treats other people. Is he romantic or funny or nice to you, but then you see him yell at the valet, or refuse to tip the waiter? Does he make you uncomfortable with how he talks about his family, friends, or work colleagues? If he’s not very kind to others in his life, it’s a matter of time before he’s not kind to you either. On the other hand, if he goes out of his way to joke around with the bartender, or gives a generous tip, that speaks volumes to the kind of guy he is.

Dating is all about connection – it’s important to keep these behaviors in mind when you’re on a date. You want to get a good idea of who your date is beneath the surface, so take notice of body language, eye contact, and many other subtle cues. Just remember – your date is paying attention to you, too. Put your best foot forward, and remember you are both reading between the lines.