Dating Deconstruction: How to Amplify Your Matchmaking Results

Dating Deconstruction: How to Amplify Your Matchmaking Results

Posted By: Kelly Seal Date: 08-17-2016 Comments: 0

Working with a matchmaker requires both trust and communication. If you can’t open up about the challenges you have with dating and relationships as well as what you want for the future, your matchmaker won’t be very effective in matching you with the right people. This is why the matchmaking process can seem intimidating; it requires a certain degree of vulnerability.

When you work with a matchmaker, it’s not just about sharing all the qualities you desire in your ideal partner and hoping she finds him for you. It’s also about getting real with who you are, where you’re at in life and how that ties into your relationship goals. Often, the partner we idealize in our minds is not the same kind of partner who ends up being our happily ever after. (Not all of us would be a perfect match for Brad Pitt, though we might desire the idea of Brad Pitt!)

Matchmakers are skilled practitioners who can hone in on what you truly want, asking questions that provide them with valuable information about your dating history, the strengths and weaknesses you bring to a relationship, and your heart’s innermost desires.

But in order to find the right relationship, trust must be built between the client and matchmaker, which means being honest and communicative about your dating preferences and giving your matchmaker honest feedback about every Intrigued pairing. Here’s how to communicate with your matchmaker to maximize your investment in matchmaking services:

Be open and honest.

As I mentioned before, it’s important to be truly honest with your matchmaker about your relationship goals, tangible and intangible. Do you want to get married? Do you want kids? Are you looking for someone to share your nomadic lifestyle? There’s no judgment here, so let go of any ideas of what you think you “should” want, and be honest about your feelings.

Also, let your matchmaker know about your past relationships and dating experiences so she can have a clear idea of who you are attracted to and what your relationship experience has been. Your matchmaker needs to know as much as possible about your personality, tendencies, and desires to match you with the right person.

Listen to your matchmaker’s advice and suggestions.

You hired your matchmaker to help you meet someone special, which is a positive step forward in meeting your relationship goals. Often we haven’t met the right person because we aren’t seeing how our own behaviors affect our love lives. Sometimes a neutral, experienced third party can shed some light on what is really going on.

For instance, some women are ambitious, independent, and want to portray these characteristics on a date because they are proud of their accomplishments. While your dates might appreciate these characteristics, they also want to know other things about you – like how it feels to be in a relationship with you, to talk to you and be intimate with you. They want to know how it feels to partner with you.

Think about it this way: if you spend too much time claiming how much you love your independence, does that leave room for a potential romantic partner? Your matchmaker can identify these types of attitudes and behaviors, so if she advises you to make some changes and see what happens, consider taking it. You will likely attract a better match for you.

Give honest feedback about your date.

If you weren’t really feeling chemistry on your first date, then let your matchmaker know. The more details you can give about what happened on the date, how you felt, and what was said, the more your matchmaker has to work with for determining what worked and what didn’t with your matches.

Matchmakers are experts in the field of communication. A skilled matchmaker can tell from your body language, your tone of voice, your choice of words as well as your reactions to certain questions, how to identify someone who might be better suited for you. They can also shed light on how your date felt, and what his experience was of you.

It’s hugely beneficial to get honest feedback about your dates’ impressions of you, which doesn’t normally happen! This helps both of you and your matchmaker get a 360-degree view of your dating life to improve your matches moving forward.

Tell your matchmaker what isn’t working.

When it comes to working with a matchmaker, it’s a two-way street. You won’t see the results you want if you and your matchmaker aren’t on the same page. If you feel that your matchmaker doesn’t really understand your needs, or her communication style isn’t working for you, then it’s okay to talk about it.

Finding the right relationship starts with good communication and a good partnership between you and your matchmaker. Besides, talking to your matchmaker is an awesome opportunity to practice essential communication skills that will carry all of the relationships in your life forward.

Communication and honesty are the most important aspects of working with a matchmaker because they are the key to achieving better results and having a better dating experience overall.