Posted By: Kelly Seal Date: 06-23-2018 Comments: 0
Dating can be a tricky landscape to navigate, as any single person knows! You want to connect with your date, but there’s a lot of room for misunderstanding when you don’t know each other. We also put pressure on ourselves when we date, because we don’t want to say or do the wrong thing when we hit it off with someone special, someone who might have long-term relationship potential. Who doesn’t enjoy that feeling of chemistry, the spark of bonding with a new person? Nobody wants to spoil that!
But then the real test kicks in – what about the second date? How can you keep that momentum going?
It’s only natural to feel nervous anticipation for date number two. After all, you want it to go as well as the first, to get to know each other better, and most importantly – you don’t want to screw things up. Rest assured, you got this – because we’re going to tell you how to prepare for that second date.
Step 1: Get creative.
There’s no need to spend a ton of money to impress someone on the second date. Instead, look at it this way: aim for trying a new experience, different from the first date, something engaging. Avoid the standard drinks/ dinner plan on a second date, so you’re not just sitting across from each other answering questions. The second date calls for creativity – but don’t let that intimidate you! Instead, think of it as a chance to do something you haven’t done, or explore a new place. For instance, how about a hike through a nature reserve, or strolling through a farmer’s market in a new neighborhood, or doing a local wine tasting? It really depends on your preferences, but doing something “active” and different for the second date can give you a better feel for each other, your personalities, and your styles.
Step 2: Pick up from your last conversation.
You might not be able to remember everything she said, but it’s good to pick a story or anecdote and show her that you were listening. Ask her questions that delve a little deeper into her passions and her goals. Avoid small talk and try to go deeper, because you’ve already covered the basics in the first date! (Besides, nobody likes small talk.) You can also bring up something you did on your first date together, a joke that you both thought was funny or a billboard you saw. This also reinforces that you were paying attention, that she was on your mind.
Step 3: Relax Into It.
For the first date, the pressure was on! And while you want to continue to make a good impression on the second date, you can relax a bit. You know the person you’re meeting, and you know there was a spark between you. You have a starting point, so you don’t have to wonder if the conversation will flow or if you look good or if your date finds you attractive. If she didn’t, you wouldn’t be on a second date. So don’t let it psych you out.
Step 4: Practice respect and consideration.
This isn’t an old-fashioned idea, having consideration for and respecting your date makes you stand out from the crowd (considering all the bad behavior in dating!). For example, when you choose to put your phone away, when you’re fully engaged, you’re more likely to connect. Phones are disruptive to building chemistry; they are a constant interruption. Also, be respectful of each other and your comfort zones, and don’t take the other person’s interest in you for granted. Maybe your date is happy with flirting and kissing on the second date, but is not cool with you making sexual advances. Be kind, thoughtful, and don’t take anyone for granted, or presume to know how they feel. Ask. Have the conversation first.
If you’re still feeling the chemistry when the second date is over, make plans for your next date. Follow through is key to standing apart from the crowd. Don’t flake out or wait too long when you’re interested – this is how many relationships fizzle before they begin.
Good luck and happy dating!