Posted By: Kelly Seal Date: 11-30-2019 Comments: 0
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
– Oprah Winfrey
There’s no doubt about the science: when you are feeling generally positive about your life, then you see more opportunities in front of you. When you’re down or feeling doubtful and insecure, it’s harder to attract these opportunities because your perspective is limited. Some people refer to this as the law of attraction.
It’s natural to feel down from time to time, but when this feeling persists, it can interfere with your ability to see things clearly, which can in turn affect your overall happiness. The best way to counteract this, studies show, is by remembering what you are grateful for right now. Too often, we dwell on what we don’t have, which reinforces negative feelings and actually prevents us from seeing things more clearly.
Developing a gratitude practice is helpful to your emotional, mental and psychological health. It not only helps lift you up in the moment, but it can help in reshaping your outlook on life, which can affect many things – from how you talk to others to how you perceive others’ actions in regard to you. In other words, gratitude allows you to gain perspective over your life and how you see it – including your love life.
Whether or not you believe the laws of attraction, a gratitude practice can shift your attitude, energy, and state of mind – enough for the people around you to notice. This includes potential romantic partners. So why not get in the habit of giving thanks and see what happens?
Here are some tried and true suggestions for developing a gratitude practice for attracting love:
Make a gratitude list each morning.
We’ve all heard this at some point – make a list of all of the things you’re grateful for! And while you might have done this a few times, you might not have made it a habit. I ask you to change that and turn it into a dedicated daily practice. Studies have pointed to the benefits of keeping a gratitude journal for improving our mental health. Plus, it’s good to remember all of the things we already have in our lives, because we spend so much time thinking about what we don’t have or what we want, (like a romantic relationship).
Every morning, write down 7-10 things that you’re grateful for, no matter how small. It might include having your best friend a short drive away, or it might include opening a new bar of good-smelling soap, going for a run, or making yourself a delicious breakfast. The point is, get into the habit and write everything down. It frames your perspective for the rest of the day.
Do something kind for someone else.
If you’re feeling stuck, or depressed, the best thing to do for yourself is to help someone else. Doing a small act of kindness can go a long way to lifting you up. When we are stuck in negative energy, it is almost impossible to see opportunity or attraction, and can definitely affect our love lives. By doing a small act of kindness, whether it’s buying a stranger a cup of coffee or calling a friend to let her know you’re thinking about her, all creates a more positive frame of mind and opens you up to new possibilities.
Write a note of thanks to a friend or family member.
Whether you send a text or like the idea of a hand-written card, think of someone in your life who you are thankful for, and let them know! Wouldn’t you like to know if someone felt similarly about you? Too often, we don’t share how much we appreciate each other. Now is the perfect time to make someone’s day and give them thanks.
Bring yourself into the present.
Meditation is a great practice, even for just a few minutes each morning. It helps your mind to focus on the present. Most of us live each moment either looking to the future and wondering what may happen or looking to the past to see what we could have done differently. These actions cause a lot of stress and unhappiness, because we have no control over the past or what happens to us in the future, but we do have control of our decisions right now. Meditation is like a reset button. It allows us to be fully present, and the present moment is filled with possibility.
Do something that brings you joy each day.
When you develop a gratitude practice, it’s important to include yourself. This means practicing self-care. Think about what brings you joy and try to incorporate it into your daily routine. It can be something like listening to your favorite podcast for inspiration, getting a massage, seeing friends, or taking some time to yourself. The point is, know what fills you up and gives you energy, and do it! Taking care of yourself is your ultimate commitment, whether you are in or out of a relationship.
Developing a gratitude practice is one of the most important things you can do for your health and well-being. Don’t underestimate its value in your life.
Kelly Seal is a freelance writer, dating expert, and author of the book “Date Expectations: A Guide to Changing Your Dating Life and Finding Real Love.” She got her start in the dating industry by hosting speed dating events around southern California and offering advice and encouragement to attendees. She now lives in L.A. and spends her free time hiking in the Santa Monica mountains and blogging at www.kellyseal.com.