Posted By: Jennifer Foster Date: 10-26-2016 Comments: 0
We all have standards for ourselves—for the car we drive, the home we live in, our personal lifestyle, and even for the people we date. While having standards for a potential partner is extremely important, other standards can be detrimental in one’s search for finding love. Here, we’ll be covering eight insidious dating criteria that severely limit one’s opportunities for a relationship. But first…
This colossal mistake is keeping your single!
Most singles have a laundry list of all the attributes they would like an ideal partner to possess. Women are conditioned to seek out men who are tall and wealthy, while men are conditioned to seek out women who are young and beautiful. The list of perfect traits builds from there.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with striving for perfection when looking for someone you might want to share the rest of your life with. However, you may be taking things a little far when your standards for dating someone become so unreasonable that it results in disqualifying your perfect match—unbeknownst to you, of course—simply for not meeting trivial criteria in the grand scheme of love.
The world’s greatest dating challenge—unreasonable expectations.
You may call it having standards, but the greatest challenge I’ve witnessed among countless singles is having unreasonable expectations. I’m not suggesting you lower your standards by any means, but I am inviting you to re-consider your so-called standards and to make them better and stronger.
If you look at our society’s divorce rate and how many marriages have gone horribly wrong, you’ll notice a common thread. People are putting way too much emphasis on ideal standards that are purely based on preconceived notions we believe are essential, must-have characteristics of the perfect mate.As a result, you may have automatically blacklisted your “perfect match” without even having given him or her the chance.
It’s time to get real about the current state of your love life.
It’s all too easy to put people in boxes and safeguard our hearts by believing social standards make the person, but do they really? Do we even understand WHY we are looking for particular characteristics in a potential partner?
Ask yourself these five questions if you want to ensure your dating standards aren’t actually hindering your chances for finding the one:
If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’re most likely making your relationship decisions based on dating standards that are not in alignment with what you’re truly looking for in a partner.
Transform limiting expectations into open invitations.
So what are you really looking for in a partner? Two really common standards many singles tend to date by usually relate to age and height.
When a man says he wants to date someone younger, what he’s really looking for is someone youthful who doesn’t have any emotional baggage. When a woman says she wants to date older, what she’s really looking for is someone stable who has emotional maturity.
When a woman says she wants to date someone taller than her, what she’s really looking for is someone she can feel safe and secure with in a relationship. When a man says he wants to date someone shorter than him, what he’s really looking for is someone he can also feel safe and secure with in a relationship.
Instead of expecting someone to be a within a certain age or height range (things neither of you have any control over, by the way), consider inviting someone to live up to a higher standard beyond the surface of such superficialities. Invite your romantic interests to demonstrate who they truly are underneath the surface.
Allow them to show up for you in the way you really want someone to show up for you in a relationship and discover what it means to be with someone who makes you feel the way you want to feel in a relationship – safe, secure and free to be yourself.
Your perfect match is still waiting for you to show up.
As a matchmaker, I’m asked by the most influential, beautiful, successful singles in the world to find them their “perfect” match. I can say, hands down, there is no such thing as a “perfect” person, but there can be a perfect match. I cannot design or build someone to match all the criteria someone has compiled over the years, but I can help you find an imperfect person, just like you, who is perfect for you if you’re willing to open your heart and make the relationship work