Posted By: Kelly Seal Date: 03-17-2016 Comments: 0
Dating can be a roller coaster of emotions – from exciting and nerve-wracking to disappointing and even frustrating. We have to go through the ups and downs, but sometimes the downs are especially hard. Most of us have been on dates that weren’t so great. Maybe you met someone who immediately turned you off, or made inappropriate remarks.
Perhaps you’ve been on some great dates and assumed things were going well. You texted flirty messages back and forth, talked about future dating plans, but then – your date disappeared. Your phone calls and texts went unanswered and left you wondering if you might have said or done something to upset your date.
Everyone is held accountable for their actions or behaviors.
When people say they “hate dating,” what they’re really talking about references their own experiences with bad dating behavior. If we all were kind, courteous, and upfront, then we’d have great experiences with dating even if we didn’t make a connection. Unfortunately, many people experience these poor behaviors and often treat their dates in disrespectful ways simply because it’s acceptable that there is no accountability.
In other words, if you meet someone online and she lied about her age, showed up twenty minutes late for the date, and then told you she wasn’t really interested in your “type,” you’d probably feel insulted, and like you wasted your time. Maybe you’d proceed with more caution on the next date, wondering what she was hiding.
Or imagine if your first date went really well and you were expecting the second one, or at least a text message to make follow-up plans, but then nothing happened. What if he just disappeared? You’d probably be skeptical of your next great date too, thinking he’s just going to “ghost” you.
With online dating, there is no accountability, because everyone is to some degree anonymous. That is, you don’t have friends in common to question your behavior, so you might feel like you can act in ways that wouldn’t be acceptable to say, friends or family. And that means your dates can misbehave with little to no retribution. Who wants that?
Get more clarity on what makes you successful at dating.
When you work with a personal matchmaker, the dating experience from the beginning is different. You know what to expect, and you know there will be feedback following the date, so likely you are on your best behavior.
The matchmaker helps clarify what you and your potential dates – or pairings – are looking for in a relationship. Matchmakers assess your personality for who might be a good fit and give you tips on how to conduct yourself during the date. In other words, there is no “disappearing act” for you or your pairing.
You both provide feedback and can have an honest conversation with your matchmaker about whether or not to schedule another date. There isn’t a gray area of wondering what the other person thought of you because your matchmaker gets that feedback from your date and communicates the highlights for you. It also takes a bit of the sting out of any rejection.
It’s also helpful to get feedback on how others perceive you on a date. Remember, your dates are strangers who don’t know your personality quirks, or that you are politically passionate, or that you like to crack dirty jokes. Using a matchmaker helps to minimize surprises and limit misunderstandings. A matchmaker can also help you become more aware of your own actions, allowing you to see where exactly you can improve your own dating behavior.
When you improve your dating skills and work on losing bad habits that don’t serve you, you can truly have a better dating experience overall. Chances are, you’ll have not only more success – but more fun too!
Want to step up your dating game for a chance at making an authentic connection that could lead to the relationship of your dreams? Try matchmaking risk-free when you join Intrigued and set up a basic profile.