Posted By: Kelly Seal Date: 05-02-2016 Comments: 0
Many of us are familiar with the blockbuster book “Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus.” The author spelled out the differences between men and women in relationships – specifically how differently they behave, think and feel. But are we really from different planets altogether?
When it comes to dating, the genders have more in common than we think, but we definitely have different perspectives. It’s good to know how the opposite sex thinks and acts before you make any assumptions. It could also help you have happier, healthier relationships. This is why it’s important to know how men and women approach dating in completely different ways.
A Woman’s Approach to Relationships
Dating can bring out a woman’s analytical side, there’s no doubt about it. She will think about everything – where you’ll be meeting, what you’ll be doing, if she can hold up her end of the conversation, if there will be chemistry, and the list goes on. She also puts a lot of time and thought into her looks – what she wears, her hair, her make-up – and what kind of image she wants to convey to her date.
On the date itself, she pays attention. She’s listening to what he says, his behavior, his body language. She is noting what she likes about him, but also those things that turn her off. She is deciding whether or not there will be a second date, or any relationship potential.
Most women prefer men to make the first move, but that is changing. Women are now starting to take charge of their own dating experiences. For the most part, women still want men to approach them, message first, and ask them out. They want men to take charge of planning and paying for the date, at least when they meet for the first time. Women perceive this as confidence, interest and maturity. Of course, she can pay and plan for it herself, but it’s much more attractive when a guy takes charge.
If they like a guy, women tend to move more quickly in the dating process and get emotionally attached early on, whereas men feel initial sexual attraction and use the dating process to determine if there’s an emotional connection.
A Man’s Approach to Relationships
Contrary to popular opinion, the overwhelming majority of men are looking for a real relationship, not just a hook-up. Plus, they tend to be romantic and believe in love at first sight much more than women do, as explained in Match’s annual Singles in America study. But there is a difference in a man’s approach.
It’s not a myth that men consider how a woman looks and his sexual attraction to her first, before anything else. This is the beginning of the dating process for him. If there is an attraction, he wants to see where it leads. He will pick up on her body language. He’ll probably engage her in flirty conversation. He’s not analyzing every word she says – he is considering his overall feelings for a woman.
Most men take longer than women to form an emotional attachment. If they have sex early on, it doesn’t mean a man will feel closer to a woman. He usually takes more time in deciding if a casual relationship or date will lead somewhere. But once he is interested in something serious, he is not shy about letting her know. Men like to pursue.
Men also thrive on taking care of women. This doesn’t mean that women lose their independence, but it does mean that he wants to be romantic, or do things for her, or help her when he can – and it’s important for the woman to let him. He might not do things the way his date would like, but if she acknowledges his efforts, it goes a long way toward building the relationship. Men tend to be more pragmatic – they don’t grow close over long, intimate talks like women. Instead, they take thoughtful action. For example, if she mentioned she likes Italian restaurants, he shows his affection by making plans for their next dinner at an Italian restaurant.
Are men really from Mars, and women from Venus?
When you know how the opposite sex thinks about dating, you can get a budding relationship off to a good start and help it grow in a positive direction. Both men and women can complement each other in a good relationship, even though they think and act differently. The important thing is to cultivate more understanding and appreciation for those differences.