How to choose the best matchmaker for you

How to choose the best matchmaker for you

Posted By: Niki Payne Date: 05-30-2016 Comments: 0

When it comes to your relationship status, timing is everything. Have you ever met the right person at the wrong time in your life? Or the wrong person at the right time? Love can be a big fat jerk when it’s just not happening for you despite your best efforts. This creates a little bit of a dating conundrum.

One of the biggest challenges I see with dating is finding someone who can meet you where you’re at in life. How do you know if someone is really ready for a committed relationship? Here’s an idea: Try supplementing your dating efforts with a personal matchmaker as your wingman (or woman).

Understand the role matchmakers play in the dating process.

Matchmakers offer a pretty package deal, but their number one job is to find you a compatible match based on who you are. They take the time to really get to know you—sometimes even better than your closest friends. They learn about you, your lifestyle and, overall, where you’ve been, where you’re at now, and where you’re headed.

Once you’ve had that initial conversation with your matchmaker, she goes on the hunt to find you a compatible match. She’s on the phone reaching out to potential matches or frequenting places and events where your ideal match is likely to hang out or spend their free time. In many cases, she’s having the same first conversation with them as she did with you to get a better idea if you two would hit it off or not. Besides, she wants to feel comfortable setting you up with someone by meeting or talking to them first. If you prefer, your matchmaker will even run a background check on the person before making an introduction.

Once your matchmaker has a match for you, her role evolves to be somewhat of a PR rep for each party as she crafts attractive bios for each person when making the introduction. If both parties accept the introduction, then your matchmaker coordinates the date based on your first date preferences. All you have to do is show up and give your matchmaker honest feedback about your date.

Feedback is the most important part of the matchmaking process. After every date, Intrigued sends a short feedback survey to both you and your date. Not only does this feedback help the matchmaker fine tune your matches, but it also provides you with the added awareness of how your dates are really going. Through the feedback process, matchmakers sometimes act as ad hoc dating coaches too.

Consider who is likely to hire a personal matchmaker.

Despite its growing popularity during the Tinder era, matchmaking is a misunderstood practice—something Intrigued aims to change. There’s a long-held perception that matchmaking is reserved exclusively for the rich and famous, or that it’s the last resort for people who have trouble dating. The reality, however, is very different.

“There really isn’t one type of person for matchmaking,” said matchmaking veteran Jen Foster. “It has more to do with emotional maturity and knowing oneself.”

According to Foster, most of the people who hire personal matchmakers have no problems meeting people. Their main challenge has more to do with timing. Many matchmaking clients are busy, attractive and successful singles with careers that are either demanding of their time or not at all conducive to meeting people for dating. And they usually don’t want to waste their time on someone who may not share their values, fit into their lifestyle, or be ready for a committed relationship.

Discover common reasons that lead singles to professional matchmakers.

The reasons for hiring a matchmaker vary from person to person, but most singles are just sick and tired of playing games and meeting people who misrepresent themselves. They turn to matchmaking out of a strong desire to share the fruits of their labor with someone special. They believe that life is sweeter when it’s shared, but they aren’t meeting the right people and don’t want to waste their valuable time hunting for a mate when they have plenty other exciting things happening in their lives.

Others turn to matchmaking to get deeper clarity on what they want in a relationship or to supplement their dating efforts with a strategic approach when they already know exactly what they want. Matchmaking is more than just a dating service. It’s also a personal journey of self-discovery.  

“The more someone grows as a person and finds their own path to financial, social, cultural and independent success, the harder it is to find similar traits in a potential partner. We become picky, and rightfully so,” said Foster.

Identify the key characteristics of a successful matchmaker.

If you’ve made it this far into the post, you probably already have a strong inclination toward matchmaking. What you likely want to know is how to pick a matchmaker that’s going to get the results you want.

The first thing you’ll want to look for is personality. Your matchmaker should make you feel comfortable and even excited to discuss any and all areas of your life, personality, goals, flaws, etc. Can you communicate openly with your matchmaker? Is she personable and easy to talk to? Take stock of the personal connection you have with your matchmaker. If your matchmaker doesn’t seem to get you, then it will be more challenging for him or her to successfully match you.

The next thing you want to look for is accessibility. How much access does your matchmaker have to your potential matches? Even if you click with your matchmaker, he or she still needs to have access to the people you most want to meet—this is why Intrigued is such a win, win for both matchmakers and singles. Your matchmaker’s personal and professional network is every bit as important as a having a great personality and being able to communicate effectively. If you want to date an entrepreneur, then you’ll likely want a matchmaker who has access to entrepreneurial types. 

The last thing to look for is affordability. How much will matchmaking cost you and what is included in that cost? Some matchmakers charge hefty fees for a simple email introduction, while others go over and beyond with delivering you value in the form of impromptu coaching and date concierge services.

If you’ve never tried matchmaking, give it a shot and join my network today for a free consultation paired with dating advice you can use on your next date.