Posted By: Kelly Seal Date: 01-15-2019 Comments: 0
It’s a New Year, which means it’s time to make some resolutions. Maybe you’ve resolved to eat healthier or get more exercise, but now is also a great time to think about making changes to your personal life too. Maybe you want to create a healthier relationship, spend more time with someone new who interests you, or usher into your life the love you desire. These are all great goals. But before you make another resolution, let’s pause for a moment and think about how that changes your current lifestyle.
It’s difficult to adhere to goals when life gets busy, and often we revert back to old habits. So what can you do to keep yourself on track when it comes to resolutions?
We all know when February rolls around, chances are that gym membership you bought over the holidays has been used only a few times, the healthy salads you ate those first few weeks in January have given way to carby treats like pasta and sandwiches. We all slide back into old habits, so don’t get down on yourself. Instead, let’s look at how we can set up a system of achieving those goals despite the setbacks. Especially when it comes to love.
Love resolutions can actually be fun.
After all, you’re trying to usher in excitement and new energy, as opposed to experiencing a negative feeling like deprivation (as you would with a diet). Let’s start out with some suggestions for a successful long-term strategy to get the ball rolling with an approach to making love resolutions that you can actually keep.
Pick a new place or activity when you plan a date.
We all have our comfort zones for first dates and meeting new people – maybe it’s meeting at a local bar for drinks or your favorite pizza place. But in 2019, plan something new to mix things up – whether it’s an activity like taking your dogs to the dog park, going to an art exhibit, or choosing a new restaurant that you’ve been meaning to try.
The point is, do something different from the status quo (and something that excites or intrigues you). It helps you look forward to the experience regardless of how well you connect with your date – plus, it encourages you to keep your plans instead of bailing at the last minute. (You know you do this from time to time!) Trying new things boosts your love energy, too!
Less screen time, more IRL connections.
Dating apps are great to connect you with more people (at least virtually), but it’s the in-person introductions that truly lead to love. Instead of spending time swiping when you’re at a party or bar or waiting for your friend, try noticing who’s around you. Make a point to talk to people while you’re standing in line. Introduce yourself to someone you don’t know the next time you’re at a party or attend a social function.
Even if you’re not attracted to the person you strike up a conversation with, they could introduce you to one of their friends who might end up being your next SO! Talking with a stranger might seem intimidating if you’re shy, but once you get the hang of it, this practice actually widens your opportunities of finding love. Instead of staring at a screen check out what’s in front of you IRL.
This isn’t cliché – research shows that having a regular gratitude practice leads to a happier, more fulfilling life. (Happiness and confidence are very attractive qualities, you know!) It’s also true that if you feel more positive, you attract more positive people in your life. If you practice gratitude, you not only increase your chances of finding someone special, you enjoy the process of dating more because you employ a healthy approach. You’re inviting love in.
For example, with a gratitude practice, you are able to see the positive traits in each of your dates instead of immediately judging them, which means they feel more comfortable opening up to you. When two people are vulnerable and open with each other, this creates a real connection.
Change your dating app habits.
Swipe left, swipe right. You know the drill, and what to expect. Which is why it’s time to try a new dating app – one that you haven’t used before or that you haven’t used in a while. Apps like Tinder are all about quantity, but why not try something a little more curated like Hinge, or how about hiring a matchmaker to help kickstart your year?
If you want to improve your dating app search results, change some of your go-to settings (like age range or distance) and see what new people you end up meeting. Expanding your preferences means you’ll see your choices expand for the better, too.
Happy New Year, and happy dating!
Kelly Seal is a freelance writer, dating expert, and author of the book “Date Expectations: A Guide to Changing Your Dating Life and Finding Real Love.” She got her start in the dating industry by hosting speed dating events around southern California and offering advice and encouragement to attendees. She now lives in L.A. and spends her free time hiking in the Santa Monica mountains and blogging at www.kellyseal.com.