Posted By: Jennifer Foster Date: 12-27-2019 Comments: 0
It’s that time of year where we all assess what we’ve accomplished and what we would like to accomplish in the future. You might be thinking of making a few changes in your life—setting New Years Resolutions for yourself, making a vision board, taking on a whole new you. It’s commendable. Good for you – Cheers!
But how many times have you made broken promises and false resolutions to yourself? Why don’t they ever seem to work for you? Are you tired of your own good intentions ending with no follow through—a week, a month or six months down the road?
Relax, you’re not alone. Many of us just stop making resolutions after a while because we’re tired of not measuring up to our own standards. Goals and resolutions can be tricky. We subconsciously see them as unattainable. Otherwise, why haven’t we accomplished them already?
Change is subtle, but always in motion.
Our minds believe change takes extreme action from the norm and that everything we do will “naturally” need to change. But is that really true? Do we not change naturally on a daily basis?
Think of it like this: Are you the same person you were a year ago? Five years ago? How about ten years ago? No, you’re not. You’ve changed. Did most of those changes take any real thought or determination? Most likely not. That’s because change is a daily occurrence. We are constantly given information, experiences and the need to validate our current state. Change is happening in a constant form with or without our conscious consent.
Rituals and habits define our natural state of change, giving outside influence, experience, and ultimately our own need to validate that information presiding over what we envisioned for our life. So if we are already changing on a daily basis, and we know why, shouldn’t we be able to break into what makes us change naturally and infuse our own version of change? Yes, we can! Let me show you how
Be mindful of your external influences and personal experiences.
From the day you were born, you have been influenced by your family, religion, culture, socioeconomics, politics, the media, and the list goes on and on. You are, in a sense, a supercomputer, absorbing all the information given to you by these influences and experiences. The more information collected to support an agenda, the likelier it will become your natural stance on life and what it means to you. For many of us this seems uncontrollable, but we can surely change how we are influenced and where our new experiences come from.
Educate yourself on new belief systems with books, articles, classes, etc. Surround yourself with those who both talk and walk the life you want for yourself. If it doesn’t serve you, don’t welcome it into your home or personal space. Journal your reasoning for change as though it’s already fact. Support your new stance in daily conversations: “I don’t eat bad foods, I date honest men, I don’t spend money on things I don’t need, I’m extremely happy with my life.” If you don’t say it aloud or believe it, no one else will either…and you need reinforcement! Choose who influences you and what experiences you will have by being cognizant of your environment.
Collect more information and experiences to support your purposeful change than what you’ve collected subconsciously to support where you don’t want to be in life. Nothing has meaning unless you give it meaning. What meaning are you giving to the happenings in your life that led you to where you are today? What new meanings can you draw from those experiences that can lead you to life you want?
Validate the person you want to be, not the person you used to be.
We do it every day. Who we believe we are, what we eat, where we live, when we do something and why we think what we do is being validated consciously or subconsciously in every action we take. The more we validate our current state, the harder it becomes to focus on another ideal or way of being. Validation is the brain’s way of acceptance and we do it naturally so as not to upset the current state of our pleasure in life. Call it a survival mechanism, if you will.
We have complete control of what we choose to validate, yet most of us choose to validate what we assume is a life standard. Why do we hate our bodies and then indulge in things that give us that same body we say we hate? Because we are validating the thought, not the need, and by changing the thought we can start actively changing what we validate. Start looking at yourself in the mirror, seeing who you really are and loving everything about you. If you already love and accept who you are and everything that makes you uniquely you, you’ll naturally take care of yourself and give yourself what it takes to be healthier and beautiful.
Date people or surround yourself with people who see all your amazingness. The more you see it from others, the more you’ll want to show them they’re right. Do small things every day that validate the person you want to be, and in time you will believe you are that person—because you are!
The habits and rituals you create can make you or break you.
Our daily lives are filled with things we do everyday without thought or presence of mind. We do what seems to be aimless activities because our brain has decided this is who we are and what we do. These daily activities weren’t always natural. You didn’t start drinking coffee every morning or having a beer when you got home every night at the age of two. You learned to make these things a habit or ritual over time without even recognizing what you were doing. Just as you made these things a habit or ritual without realizing it, you can make tweaks to your life daily without undergoing a massive change. If you want to quit smoking, smoke less every day. If you want to date more qualified candidates, be the person you want to meet and put yourself out there every day. If you want to lose weight or get healthier, do something more active than usual and eat something healthier every day. Big changes aren’t necessary. Daily adjustments will validate who you are until you actually start believing in who you are. It’s that simple. Make small daily goals that you can commit to for a minimum of 21 days.
The key is to do something EVERY DAY!
New Years Resolutions and change may seem difficult at first, but remember you are already changing on a daily basis. You can either choose the direction in which you change or allow the elements of life to choose where you go from here. Change is inevitable, but you have endless possibilities in your choices of influence, experience, what you validate and how you implement a habit or ritual. If you get off track for even a day, jump back into your commitment to yourself. You’re worth taking a few minutes of your day to direct your own change. Don’t let go of the wheel or it will steer itself!