Posted By: Kelly Seal Date: 12-02-2016 Comments: 0
Our love lives are not static, whether we realize it or not. At times we experience excitement, understanding, and love from relationships but at other times pain, loneliness, and doubt take center stage.
Have you ever felt stuck in a rut, like your love life won’t change? Maybe you wonder if you’ll ever find the right person or the right relationship, or feel chemistry again with someone special.
Let me explain. Sometimes, we can feel hopeless or disappointed, or that love isn’t meant for us, especially during the holiday season when there are so many expectations surrounding romantic relationships. It’s easy to give into feelings of doubt and loneliness when it comes to wanting more for your love life. It’s easy to lose hope when other people are behaving badly or you’ve been disappointed.
A woman once lamented to me about dating too many men who weren’t interested in a relationship. “Does it ever get any easier?” she asked. “What can I do?”
I get your frustration. You can’t control other people’s behavior or the timing of meeting the right person. But there is something you can control when your love life feels stagnant or hopeless. You can change your own thoughts, perspective, and behavior instead of focusing on how others have disappointed you.
If you practice gratitude on a daily basis, it can shift your thinking toward what you have versus what you want. To focus your attention on something you want that you don’t yet have is to perpetuate a mindset of lack. With gratitude, you can cultivate a mindset of abundance by remembering all that you already have.
This subtle shift can change a lot more than your attitude going into a date. It can also help you have a better overall experience. When you approach dating with a degree of positive energy, from a place of fulfillment instead of lack, then your dates will more likely respond in kind. It helps you to connect, a crucial ingredient in building relationships.
Have you ever noticed that when something amazing happens, like getting a well-deserved promotion or falling in love, other things in your life start to fall into place, too? Or if you play sports, have you ever felt everything starting to sync up just right on the field or court, like being “in the zone”? It feels as though you can do anything and so more opportunities come your way.
Gratitude works the same way. It helps you attract more of what you want in your life because it helps you shift your perspective away from what you are lacking to what you already have. Instead of feeling stuck, you feel more possibility, more happiness, and more fulfillment as time goes on. As a result, you inevitably attract others who feel this way, too.
Here are some ideas on how you can infuse each and every day with a dash of gratitude and positivity.
List five things you’re grateful for each day.
Your list can be simple, like the smell of fresh laundry or a good cup of coffee. Or it can be significant, like being acknowledged for your work on a project or being cancer-free for one year. The point is, get in the practice of looking for the gifts you have in your life.
Start a gratitude journal.
Instead of keeping mental tabs, start a gratitude journal and write your thoughts down. Make it a daily practice. This way, you can always go back and look through your entries, reminding yourself how much you have in your life, and also how far you’ve come in your practice. Check out The Five Minute Journal by Intelligent Change – this journal is available as a physical hard cover journal or as an electronic app.
Acknowledge past relationships.
If you want to truly let go of past hurts and move forward in your love life, be grateful for every relationship you’ve ever had. Despite the pain someone may have caused you, try to remember why you were attracted to that person in the first place. Make a list of what you loved about each person that hurt you in a relationship. It’s also a good idea to list at least three things you learned from that person or that relationship. This practice will help you let go of what holds you back in your love life, opening you up to more possibilities for new love. Through this process, you also cultivate a feeling of gratitude for life’s hard lessons.
Perform a random act of kindness.
If you can’t think of anything to be grateful for, the best cure is to do something nice for someone else. There’s nothing that compares to the feeling you get from being of service to someone in need; it puts things in perspective and lifts your spirit in the process. Help someone with her groceries, offer to rake a neighbor’s lawn, write a thank you note to an old friend, or volunteer at a homeless shelter. It doesn’t matter what specifically you choose, just do something kind. Pay it forward, as the saying goes.
Enjoy the process.
Gratitude isn’t about practicing some superficial spirituality. It’s a real mental tool that can help reignite your outlook on life. Gratitude can help you embrace the present moment. When we are living in the present, we aren’t emotionally tangled up in the past or worried about the future. We can be happy with what is.
Gratitude is a helpful tool. If you’re ever feeling stuck, gratitude is a way forward. And it’s totally up to you to practice and reap the benefits.